Feel My Love Read online

  After a two and a half hour flight, one website completed and sent to my boss for approval and a new website started, we land. A slight bit of unease rolls through my gut, knowing that I’m back in the one place I never wanted to be again, but I need to remember who I came here for. I came back to help the man I’m in love with when he needs me.

  I get out of my seat to exit the plane, and glance back to where Ryan was sitting, but there are so many people standing in the aisle that I can’t spot him. I decide to wait for him outside the gate, hoping that he’ll be happy that I decided to come.

  Chapter 24

  Ryan

  I’m standing in the aisle, waiting for the flight attendants to herd us out like we’re cattle. Since this flight was last minute I could either choose the one first class seat that was open, but didn’t want to spend that much money on, or I could take the last open seat at the back of the plane and wait twenty minutes to get off after we land.

  The day started out so well; I had amazing morning sex with Brynn, our run was a lot of fun, even though I can already feel my body start to hurt, and we were laughing and joking at the wedding. Then everything crashed down.

  I have absolutely no clue why Amber would be looking for the girls now. I never knew where she disappeared to after she left the hospital, not from a lack of trying. I called her family to see if they had seen her, but they hadn’t or they were lying to me.

  I let her parents know that I was seeking sole custody of the girls and that would mean that Amber had no access to them, but her parents says they hadn’t seen her since before the girls were born. I was willing to let Amber’s parents get to know Riley and Harper, but they said they didn’t want to see them because they were tied to Amber, and it would be too painful to see the girls and know that their own daughter wasn’t around, or some bullshit.

  Then Brynn told me that she wouldn’t come with me. That was a blow to the gut. I was hoping that she would come with me, even if it was just for a day or two. I needed her presence with me when I had to face Amber for the first time in almost eight years. But, for some reason it was too hard for Brynn to come home, and in a way I couldn’t blame her. This place held a lot of terrible memories for her.

  I just didn’t know where this left us. I didn’t know if we were done or how we were going to make this thing work and I didn’t even get to tell her goodbye; she just ran out and left me standing there like an idiot.

  I finally make it out of the jet walk and look around to find my way out of the airport, when I see the most beautiful brown haired girl standing by the window, looking like an angel in the same dress she wore to the wedding, smiling at me. I smile and let out a sigh of relief that she’s here, but have to walk up to her and touch her to make sure that I’m not hallucinating.

  When I reach her, she has tears in her eyes and a smile on her face when I wrap my arms around her slender waist. Brynn clears her throat a few times and then says “I’m so sorry I didn’t just decide to come with you in the first place. I need to be here for you when you need me; it just took me a little longer than it should have to figure that out.” She smirks and wraps her arms around my neck.

  I let out a small groan and kiss her a few times, making sure it’s really her. “Thank you for coming here for me, Brynnie. You have no idea how much it means to me that you came here to be with me. Are you mad at me because I didn’t tell you about Becca watching my girls?” I cringe, waiting for the backlash, but it never comes.

  Brynn shakes her head and looks down at her sandals and then runs her hands along her dress before she speaks. “It was a shock, that’s for sure, but I can’t be mad at you for wanting my sister to watch your kids. Becca’s amazing. Plus, it’s not like you never see my family around town. You were close with all of them before I left, I wouldn’t expect that to end just because I’m gone.”

  I lean forward and thoroughly kiss her, then grab her hand and start to walk as quickly as I can toward doors that will take us to the long term parking lot. I call Becca when Brynn and I make it to my car and let her know that we will be there soon.

  “Hurry, Ry” Becca squeaks out. “She’s still here. She and the guy she’s with are taking turns banging on the front door and it’s starting to scare the kids. I called the police but when the cops pulled around the corner, Amber and the guy drove off and then came back after the cops left.“ Becca sounds a little freaked out, so I drive a bit faster than I should and make it to Becca and Tyler’s house in record time.

  When I pull into Becca’s driveway, I notice an old, beat up dark green Volkswagen parked on the street and a disheveled guy with brown hair hunched down in the driver’s seat with a blonde woman next to him, her face turned to the side. When Brynn and I get out of my car and start walking toward Becca’s front door, the woman gets out of the passenger side of the car, and I have to do a double take.

  It’s Amber, but she looks nothing like the woman I knew in high school. The woman I was married to had shoulder length, shiny blonde hair. Back then her skin was tan and she was thin, but still looked healthy. The woman walking toward me right now looks sick.

  Her dark green eyes that used to shine are now dull and lifeless. Her hair is long and dirty; still blonde but the color of straw and has lost all of its shine. She’s very skinny and has bruises on her skeletal arms. Brynn walks up behind me and puts her hand in mine and that’s all the strength and calm I need to find out exactly what Amber wants from me and my girls.

  “What the hell are you doing here, Amber?” I calmly ask, cocking my head to the side trying to figure out what this shell of a woman I once knew wants from me.

  “I want my girls,” Amber says in a raspy voice. It sounds nothing like Amber’s voice, but more like the voice of a woman who has smoked heavily for the past twenty years.

  “Too fucking bad,” I say, in an unexplainably neutral voice “you’re never going to get my girls. You had your chance to be in their lives. I tried to get a hold of you for over two years after they were born and you were nowhere to be found. You lost every right to be in their lives when you walked out on us in the hospital.”

  Amber narrows her eyes on me like she wanted to start me on fire with just a look. “What do you really want, Amber?” I wonder, knowing there is more to her visit than to just see two girls she doesn’t even know. She clears her throat and straightens her back, as if she is mustering up some courage.

  “I want to get the girls back so that I can get some child support. I don’t have a job and neither does my boyfriend, Max.” Amber hikes her finger over her shoulder in the direction of the car. “I figured since I didn’t work I would be able to watch the girls during the day. You could just pay me to have them and I would get to know them a little better.”

  I feel my eyes grow to the size of saucers and my mouth drop open to yell at her, but I’m frozen in place. I can’t even come up with a coherent thought to say something back to her. Is this bitch for real?

  Chapter 25

  Brynn

  If this wasn’t such a terrible situation, it might actually be funny.

  This woman, who looks like she’s been doing drugs for the past ten years and could possibly be drugged up right now, has been banging on my little sister’s front door ruthlessly asking to see two girls she doesn’t even know, and she wants Ryan to pay child support? Ha.

  The whole thing infuriates me, so I step next to Ryan and glower at her, ready to flip out. “Are you fucking kidding me? Amber, do you really think that Ryan will give you a snowball’s chance in hell to get these girls? Do you even know your daughters’ names?” I ask, raising an eyebrow in question.

  Amber finally looks in my direction with a scowl and shakes her head. “Brynn Harris” she says, huffing out a breath. “I should have known you’d be here. You know, you are the reason my marriage to Ryan didn’t last.”

  This time, I do laugh. I look down at the ground while I let out a chuckle and then look back up to Amber with fury in
my eyes, and spit out “Sure, you keep telling yourself that, but the second you told Ryan to stop talking to me because you are a jealous, psycho bitch, he did. You have no one to blame for your marriage not working but yourself.”

  Amber’s eyes narrow and she steps toward me, but I hold my ground and stare back into her lifeless, dull eyes; she just looks pathetic now and I feel bad for her for about two seconds.

  After those two seconds are up, Amber does something I’m sure no one expected. She raises her arms and shoves me in the chest, making me stumble back a few steps, then says “You know, you stupid whore, if you weren’t such a conniving little bitch and would have stayed out of our lives after we got married, we could have had a chance. Instead, you were constantly texting and calling, making Ryan focus on you instead of me and our unborn babies.”

  After I take the two steps forward that she shoved me back, I nod and then say with a little humor in my answer, “Sure, since you weren’t even two months pregnant when I last talked to him, I’m the reason you got no attention while you were pregnant. Well, maybe if you had focused on your marriage and the babies for a second you would have had a chance. How dare you blame me for you being a selfish bitch that doesn’t care about anyone but herself.” I’m yelling by the time I finish my sentence.

  Amber whips her hand up and slaps me across the cheek, the sound worse than the actual pain from her palm. That’s when everything goes red. My vision blurs and my hands curl into fists. When my brain clears a few moments later and I can focus again, Amber is on the ground, crab walking away from me, and my right hand hurts like hell.

  Chapter 26

  Ryan

  Holy shit! Brynn just sucker punched Amber right across her left cheek. I never saw that coming, but after what Amber just said to Brynn, she had it coming.

  Amber finally stands up after she’s crawled a few feet away from Brynn and yells “I’ll get a hold of my girls one way or another.” I shake my head and wrap my arms around Brynn’s shoulders because she looks like she might hit Amber again.

  “No you won’t, Amber” I say, still calm, finally getting my voice back from the awe I felt when Brynn knocked the bitch down. “I tried to give you some custody rights to them, but by the time they turned two and we hadn’t heard anything from you, the judge awarded me sole custody and you cannot lay a hand on them.”

  I look at her scarred arms and the small scars on her face and say “If you want to take a drug test and meet me at the court house in the next month, we can talk to the judge and see if maybe we can get you a supervised visit every few months or something.”

  After the panicked look Amber gave me when I said “drug test” I have a feeling I won’t have to worry about seeing her in court. “Fine” Amber says “keep the little pain’s in the ass. I never really wanted to see them, anyway.” Amber says.

  This sets Brynn off all over again, and I have to physically hold Brynn back from attacking Amber again. “You are such a bitch!” Brynn screams, pointing a finger at Amber. “How dare you dismiss those little girls like they are nothing. They didn’t ask to have you as a poor excuse for a mother; they are lucky that they have a father like Ryan to protect them from pieces of shit like you!”

  Amber huffs and turns to get into her car. Once she’s in, the dilapidated VW peels out from its parking space and whines down the street. I look down at Brynn, who is still red in the face and shaking from the adrenaline, and smile at her.

  “Thank you, baby. You are the best woman in the world.” Brynn finally pulls her eyes away from where the car is speeding down the road. When she turns to me, she has a frown and her eyebrows are bunched together when she says “Why? I didn’t do anything spectacular, just told the truth. And how the hell did you stay so calm through all of that? I could have killed her about five different times there.”

  I give her a small kiss on the mouth and put my forehead to hers when I say “I was calm because I have you here with me; plus I knew she couldn’t get the girls. You are amazing because you stuck up for me and my girls; girls you still haven’t even met. You punched Amber, Brynn. You laid her flat defending my daughters for me. You are the most wonderful person I’ve ever met. ”

  Brynn just shakes her head and giggles, then hisses and looks down at her red and swelling knuckles. “I think I need to put some ice on these. They really hurt” she says.

  I grab Brynn’s uninjured hand and we walk up to Becca’s front door. I knock a few times and tell Becca that it’s us and Amber is gone. When Becca opens the front door, her eyes go wide and she freezes.

  A shorter, slightly heavier, version of Brynn is standing in the door frame, staring at Brynn with her mouth hanging open and her blue eyes wide. “Brynn?”

  Both of them stare at each other, neither moving. “Hi, Beck.” Brynn finally says with a slight smile on her lips and tears in her eyes. Then Becca throws herself in Brynn’s direction and they wrap their arms around each other. Becca starts to cry, nearly hyperventilating.

  “Oh my God, Brynn. I never thought I would see you back here again. I’m so happy to see you. I’ve missed you so much and Milo keeps asking when we get to talk to Aunt Brynnie again.” Brynn pulls back, tucking her long hair behind her ears wiping tears away from her cheeks.

  “I’ve missed you guys, too. I almost didn’t come back, but Ryan needed someone to knock Amber out for him.” Brynn looks down and her brows pull. “Speaking of” she says, holding her hand up, “do you have an ice pack or some frozen peas I could put on my hand?”

  Becca pulls her brown hair across one shoulder before she sees Brynn’s knuckles. Her eyes widen and she pulls Brynn into the house while I try not to laugh as the sight of Brynn knocking Amber on her ass plays through my head.

  Brynn and Becca head into the kitchen while I go to the living room to call for the girls to come down from Milo’s room. Riley and Harper come running down the stairs, with Milo trailing behind them, and run right into my open arms. Milo tells the girls he’s going to run into the kitchen to get a drink or snack.

  “Hello again, my beautiful little princesses. I missed you girls so much.” They each pick a cheek and give me a kiss. I look into their bright blue eyes and luckily see a lot more of me in them than I do Amber. Other than their small, button noses they got from her, my identical twin girls look almost exactly like me. They each have the same sandy blonde colored hair which hangs down to the middle of their back, and same bright blue eyes.

  Riley and Harper look exactly alike in every way, down to the way they get their hair cut, because they think it’s funny when no one can tell them apart. They even try that trick with me from time to time, but luckily Riley has a very small scar under her right eye that she got when she was three from a tree branch cutting her. Up until that small scar was there, I used to have to put a small black sharpie dot on the outside of Riley’s left hand so that I could tell them apart, otherwise it was impossible and I got them confused.

  I clear my throat and look at them both while they smile at me. “Girls, there is someone I want you to meet. This woman is very, very special to me and I want you to be on your best behavior, okay?” Both of the girl’s just nods and each take one of my hands.

  I lead them back into the kitchen where Brynn is sitting at the kitchen table with an ice pack sitting on her right hand and her left hand wrapped around the back of Milo’s waist, balancing him on her knee while he hugs her neck.

  Brynn smiles and looks down into Milo’s bright green eyes with unshed tears in her own, while he tells her about how much fun he’s had with the awesome train set she sent out to him last month. “Did you bring me ‘nother twain Aunt Brynnie?” Milo asks her, unwrapping his arms from around her neck and clapping his hands together.

  Brynn smiles and shakes her head before she runs her hand through his light brown hair. “Not this time, my main man; I was in a hurry. But, Aunt Brynnie has a prize for you at her house that I’ll send out to you when I go back. And if mommy says its oka
y, we can go out and get you a prize tomorrow, but you have to be the best boy in the world for Aunt Brynnie, okay?” Milo smiles, nods and kisses Brynn on the cheek before hopping off her lap and hounding Becca about going for a prize tomorrow. Becca rolls her eyes and goes back to searching the fridge for dinner options.

  I walk up next to Brynn and she smiles at both of the girls, tears filling her eyes as she grins at them. “Girls, this is daddy’s best friend in the whole world. Her name is Brynn. Can you say hello?” I look down at my girls who are both smiling at Brynn and say “Hi” in unison.

  “Brynn is my middle name,” Riley says. “Her middle name is Marie, Harper” I say, watching Harper’s face light up when she says “That’s my middle name, too.” Riley smiles and says “That’s so cool that we have your name for our names. Daddy, did you do that on purpose?”

  I nod and look at Brynn, who has tears now running down her cheeks and a smile on her face. “You girls look just like your daddy” Brynn whispers. She looks up at me in awe and says “they’re beautiful, Ryan.” Then she crooks her finger at the girls and they lean closer to her.

  “You two are the luckiest girls in the world. Did you know that?” Riley shakes her head, and Harper says “Why are we lucky?” Brynn smiles and says in a hushed voice “Well, you’re lucky because you have the best daddy in the world. He is the coolest guy I’ve ever met and he loves you two to the moon and back.” I smile when Brynn looks back up at me and I shake my head. “I love all three of you girls to the moon and back.” Brynn smiles back at me and mouths “I love you too”.